you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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