i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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