I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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