I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
