I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
