I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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