Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
