Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
