playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
