That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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