Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Ladies don't puke and tell
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
