I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
