We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
