ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
