Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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