He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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