I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
