I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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