i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
