The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
