Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
