I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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