No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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