I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
The best revenge is premature balding
Farmville is her only friend.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
