i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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