I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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