he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
