were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
