1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
All the doctor said was why
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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