my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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