Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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