not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize