My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
