maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
