i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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