I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
