I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
