Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
