Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
