Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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