maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
