Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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