Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
