Me too!
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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