You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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