I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
