i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize