I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
