oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize