just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
