just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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