'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize