Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
