I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
