if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
