considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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