my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
