And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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