Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
