Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
