I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize