I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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