How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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