I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
