and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
