Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
