just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
