I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
