I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
