so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
