yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Are we in a gay sports bar?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
