i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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