I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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